As the World Turns...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:43:27 GMT

sometimes i do things i know i shouldn't and they come bite me in the ass. like i know i shouldn't facebook stalk certain people and i know i shouldn't ask certain questions when talking to my ex, but i can't help it. and now i feel awful.

Sun, 31 May 2009 19:17:17 GMT

Oh man, it's been forever since I actually had a genuine interest in someone. He actually keeps my interest!! Ugh, now I don't know what to do. I feel like I am in high school again. Maybe I should send him a note asking "do you like me? circle yes or no"

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:39:15 GMT

so i might be a perfectionist and a control freak but wouldn't you rather have that kind of person teaching your child than someone who doesn't care enough to have high expectations of your child? when it comes to my job I am competitive and I feel like I have to show the other teachers that I am not a "first year teacher" that damn it, I am good. In the end this creates friction because I don't just suck it and and take it. I call people on their bullshit. That does NOT make me bitchy it means I know my boundaries and expect those to be respected. ugh....is their a professional school anywhere?

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 05:36:06 GMT

i am strongly considering taking a mental health day this week.

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 19:01:46 GMT

sleep is the best thing ever. A vacation for me isn't about going somewhere, it's about relaxing, which means i have the best vacations at home in my bed sleeping.

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:15:23 GMT

yummmyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:56:28 GMT

so stressed out and i want to go shopping to release that stress ugh.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:54:30 GMT

sometimes i wonder if i could go through it all again and still come out the same. college, relationships, or just certain experiences in general. when did it become so complicated just to live the simple life?

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:04:50 GMT

what does it mean "to be friends" really? does that mean i am not allowed to get annoyed or just want some time away from that person? i just want to call them on their bullshit. but i know if i do that than it won't be the same. but really? can i let them go through the rest of their life thinking that it's ok? i sometimes just want to be say "you are the most judgmental person ever. you look out for yourself and that's fine, but don't alienate others because of your insecurity." lately i have just had urges to scream and confront them and for once not be accommodating. i've always made friends easily, but now i am starting to wonder if they are really friends or just obligations. i am always in the middle and trying to please both sides. i need time to myself but don't like feeling alone.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 01:46:58 GMT

So I tried joining a gym with the idea that I would go work out instead of shopping. Except the gym is right next to the mall. I didn't foresee this as a problem. It's just so easy to swing into the mall on my way to or from the gym. Now somehow my bank account is in a sad state. I think I have spent about 250.00 at Victoria Secret, which is ridiculous considering I have no one to wear it for now. And, I decided Fredrick's bras fit better and were cheaper. When I started working at The Limited, I only owed 50 on my Limited card, now I owe 400 again. I don't even want to look at my Visa card. Time for me to cut back and save. I don't need anything more. No more clothes, shoes, bags, booze, music or gadgets. Ok one more gadget, ipod shuffle. Then no more. I am putting myself on a strict money diet. Only 100 dollars a week. This means taking advantage of parents again. Books and and ipod shuffle is all I am allowed to spend money on now. I am going to the gym.

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 05:56:50 GMT

Christmas eve use to be my favorite because i spent it with basel's family. we made gingerbread houses, had the big holiday party, and we cuddled in front of a fire place and all was sweet. plus his mom got me the best christmas presents EVER!!! and honestly i thought that around this time i would be getting engaged. however the complete opposite has happened. it's ok though, because i found i have good friends and who needs the drama?

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:09:11 GMT

my phone is broken so I can't make or receive calls. it's kinda nice not having anyone calling me or constantly feel guilty when i dont pick up or return a call. granted i feel a little disconnected, but anyone important can get a hold of me somehow....just no one die just in case, ok?

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 06:08:15 GMT

i am missing something and i can't figure out what it is. oh wait yes i can. i need to do something except the gym is closed this late and i don't have any money to go shopping. i think dave has the right idea, i need to start running marathons, smoking, or get laid. Any three are acceptable right now.

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:30:16 GMT

i dont know what to do with myself anymore....

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 23:08:32 GMT

god it all hurts. and so it's official because i had the official big cry. i am joining a gym. i think it will be more productive with this than shopping.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:46:21 GMT

i am sad. i need something.

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:52:31 GMT

i've been sick for the last 2 weeks and cannot get better. do you know how much it sucks constantly having boogers and snot running down your face and blowing our nose and having your head hurt?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 06:00:15 GMT

how did we go from "i love you. always and forever" to nothing at all? god i miss him.

shopping cures all. i heart shoes and nice smelly stuff.

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:45:56 GMT

how am i suppose to be in a relationship when my gimpy (literally) boyfriend won't call me? oh that's right, i can't. so i am going to go pick up my stuff tomorrow. let's see what happens.

i slept from 6:00 to 10:00 when steph woke me up to feed me. and now i am going to shower and go back to sleep. yeah i am that good.

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:28:55 GMT

i got sick from one of the kids. ick. my kids are ridiculous. They are all very attention needy. So one decides that he is going to try to run for attention. He races to the door, I intercept him with just my arm, he then starts screaming"no" and "let me go" I am just standing there. I look towards my aid and say "I'm not even holding him; he's holding on to me." At that point he immediately lets go and pouts. I laugh. I love my class.

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:36:02 GMT

a girls got needs, so she's got to get paid. BUT DANG IT! I DONT WANT TO GO TO WORK!!!!!
i think i am going to call in on Friday and go play tennis with my aunt and get ready for my dad's 60th birthday party. probably go get a pedicure also. the real world sucks, stay in school as long as possible.

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 10:31:16 GMT

I love facebook because it lets me stalk people, except it then makes me feel really weird. A guy that I dated, back when I was whorish (view old entries) is now dating a girl that was in my sorority. I just think it's weird because I know if I ever came up like "how do you know her?" neither would have positive or nice things to say. Granted I don't have nice things to say about them, but it's just weird to know that there is the possibility that they are talking shit about me ( hook up wise...) and she'll know who he is talking about. and he'll know. maybe i am thinking i am more important than i am.

scatter of thoughts/complaints

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:22:11 GMT

~I gave in. I cannot hold a grudge when it is about me. I am much better at standing up for others than I am for myself, sad. I am sure that other people think that makes me weak or that in reality I can't stand up for anyone. Why make myself miserable? I might be miserable later on this month but i can wait to see.

~So I talked to more relatives this week than I have in the past three months. My Dad's birthday party is in two weeks, and of course my brother and I are slackers and now have to call most people to let them know that it is going on. Meh, I would rather see them in SanFran or New York than see them in Tucson.

~ Everyone has to work with someone incompetent or annoying or that "WTF" person, but damn it, we dont have to like it. I am sorry it is ridiculous to be lazy and slack at your job when you KNOW it affects others. I dont care if what you do if it only affects you but dont create extra work for me. I finished all my report cards, printed them out and stuffed them into envelopes. Granted we didnt need to stuff them till Tuesday, but we were given all of Friday to do it. I even did mine later than most other teachers because I had restraint training. I am just really annoyed. No I dont play well with others, and no matter what people say, nothing prepares you for working with others.

~ I NEED NEW MUSIC!!! ANY SUGGESTIONS??

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:12:55 GMT

it's a day for wondering "what if..."

life

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 23:46:38 GMT

so yes, i am back sort of. after posting the last post that said i was back, i immediately forgot my password.
So what has been going on in my life? Went to Germany, graduated got my first teaching job and now i am a contributing member of society who periodically still lives off my parents. However, I am living away from them, with my cousin, but it still counts as getting away from family.
It is weird to start writing here again. I feel like I am in a completely new place and person. Maybe I have finally matured. No i doubt that because even today i got in dirty looks for laughing at a training.
i facebooked stalked people today. i am jealous, unwarranted possibly but still. i decided to check up on an old crush, saw he was still in a relationship going strong, and i was bitter. all the pictures make them look like they are so happy. i know that no relationship is perfect, but i it's hard to remember that when you see those pictures. maybe it's because my relationship isn't what i want that i am jealous. whatever, i wish people would stop misrepresenting their lives and post pictures of the shitty time as well as good times.
monday starts a new quarter for my kids. i think i am going to wing it.